Christmas is the ultimate stress test for many couples – why is that? Perhaps because the “festival of love” brings back longings and childhood memories for most people and they want it to be as perfect as possible. For many people, it is also the center of the year.
So what can you do to ensure that Christmas remains harmonious and a wonderful memory?
What would certainly help would beto “give it a rest” if you can, let go of expectations and your own urge for perfection. Respect the fact that your partner may be different when it comes to Christmas. Good organization and planning also certainly helps.
However, if conflicts do arise – which are often about such banalities as “When will the Christmas tree be decorated?” and “When can the cookies be eaten?” – the golden rule of DEESCALATION applies. Because Christmas should not be a time for fundamental discussions. And according to Gotman’s 5:1 pair rule, you’d have to have 5 great Christmases to cancel out the one that went to the wall.
Gifts, which are so important, also cause drama for couples whose love language is not gifts. Because “ love thrives on amiable little things” (Theodor Fontane). Here, too, you can communicate that you can’t do anything with the gift, but perhaps not in the middle of the gift-giving and perhaps with a lot of humor, which relaxes a lot.
With this in mind, merry Paar- mas 😉
Yours, Marijana Lorenz